Time to change those thoughts

Posted on October 12, 2011


After speaking with Jayne over Twitter, we have formed a close friendship and I regularly read her blog, so when she offered to hear ideas for new blogs I gave a personal idea, one that I think many women and girls go through. The feeling of low self-confidence which, on some days, can be overwhelming. I asked her if she had any thoughts and if she would guest blog for me, and she did!

I do hope you enjoy this blog as much as I have and do read her regular blog to feel inspired and motivated.


Living with those fat feelings!

Hands up if you ever feel fat? Wow that’s a fair number of hands. Feeling fat is all about feelings it’s not about fat so let’s explore it and what we can do to make things feel a little better.

If I had a penny for every client that tells me about their fat feelings I’d be living on my smallholding already. Feeling fat seems to be increasingly how women express their emotions. I can only imagine that other tools to express emotions are missing or it’s overwhelming to actually go this deep.

First and foremost it’s important to remember that this feeling isn’t about size, weight or shape. It’s about how something affects us and how we choose to feel and then process this.

Signs that you are living with fat feelings might be…

  • Weighing yourself frequently and unable to be reassured your weight is ok
  • Seeking constant reassurance from those close to you
  • Feeling the need to exercise more than is necessary for wellbeing
  • Changing your clothes several times as you feel fat!
  • Cancelling social events
  • Having slumps in body confidence

What can you do?

Well you can start to ask for what you want. Ask someone you trust to just listen and acknowledge that they hear you. They needn’t say much at all except they have heard you. You can take responsibility for not repeating this too frequently.

You can keep a feelings journal and record what is actually happening and how you feel. You can draw up a feelings list. Something I do with all my clients at some point.

You can cut down on exercise and find something that’s more important to your soul, something that calms the destructive mindset

You can share your fears with a friend, don’t be surprised if you hear your feelings coming right back at you

You can focus away from your body and image, get some friends and family together and tell each other all your strengths and what makes you terrific!

You can listen. Actively listen for compliments.

You can give yourself the ok to put on your clothes and not recheck before you leave, 1 reassurance is ok. Several aren’t!

You can decide to change and seek support if required.

Fat is a feeling, a state of mind. From today let’s focus on your strengths, what makes you unique and wonderful. There’s no time for those fat feelings!

Jayne Cox runs her private practice as an Emotional & Eating Disorder Body Image Expert. A Specialist Women’s Coach and Writer, she empowers and motivates women to Love their Years their Bodies and their Lives. She blogs for Virgin and the Huffington post regularly and helps women to feel confident, motivated and inspired. 

Twitter: @Loving_my_years

Website: Jayne Cox

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